Published by Deborah Negron M.A.
May 29, 2020
Series Day 1 –
Facing The Fear
We must own our own position. We must face our own sin. Without doing so, we cannot heal. When we Face this Fear we break down a wall of Resistance.
This is the First Step to Healing
I did not ever want to go back…
Did not ever want to see that man again. He had hurt me, though all I ever did was show him kindness. He had hurr my family. Though I had tried so hard to make things right.
His anger destroyed so much in my life.
Relationships, bonds, positions lost because of his outbursts and his treatment of others.
Now there he lay, sick in a bed, in hopisce care. Some said, he deserved it. Others quoted, tou reap what you sow.
Yet to God it was more important to have me forgive this man than how uncomfortable ai felt in entering that patient’s room.
The night before had been torture. Every memory of how he had hurt me came flooding in. The feelings of fear, of trauma and of exhaustion came. I had not wanted to ever face him again.
But the scripture tells us the words Jesus taught his disciples in Matthew 6:14-15,
“For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”
Oh how I heard these words over and over in my mind. Forgive to be forgiven.
The act of forgiving is not an act of power. It is an act of obedience to Christ’s words. It is necessary for us to let go of the past in order to move in to the Blessings God has for us.
We cannot say we love God and have ought against our brother.
The Bible tells us that even our prayers will be hindered if we do not make ammends.
We cannot even come to the Lord with our offerings until we set things right.
Consider what Matthew 5:23-24 says,
“So if when you are offering your gift at the altar you there remember that your brother has any [grievance] against you, Leave your gift at the altar and go. First make peace with your brother, and then come back and present your gift.”
Imagine that, I was the one hurt, yet the Lord took me back there. God in his wisdom, knew I could neve move forward until I let go of all the anger and pain and fear I had everytime I even heard this man’s name. I was trapped by my own emotions.
The Bible tells us that the heart of man is desperately wicked. Left to our own devices we will continue to hurt. We will continue to mull over the past and it will continue to eat us up inside.
Truth be told, as long as I stayed angry, I continued to be a victim of my own making. The events of the past were rehearsed over and over and they brought stress. Even though I had escaped the domestic violence I was held captive by the memories and the unforgiving heart.
Christ knows we cannot be healed unless we forgive. We were designed to become like him. When we get closer to the Lord, he confronts us with our own lacks, our own deficits. We look in the mirror of God’s word and find out how truly flawed we are.
I went to see this man. I went to see this man I had been married to for 25 years. My parents had counseled me to do so. My dear friends and my Counselor, had asked me, to let God deal with my heart. She accompanied me in to the room.
The once violent man, looked frail and weak. He looked not strong, anymore. He looked humble and broken. He asked to be forgiven. The anger that welled inside of me, was replaced by God’s mercy. You see, I too had sinned against God. I was not perfect. I had failed God on so many levels. I had been disobedient. I had paid serious consequences. But there, that day.
I know the anger I had had toward this man…
The hatred and fear, the sense of despair left my heart. We forgave each other. We let go of a past that would have haunted me the rest of my life.
A few days later, forgiven and set free, this man was in the arms of Jesus. He passed away free of the burden of his sins.
I too, was free from the prison of unforgiveness. I was free from the lie of the enemy, that somehow, I had no part in sin.
The Bible says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
Everyone fails. We all need a Saviour. There is none righteous, not one.
My own rebellion had kept me from making the right decisons many times in my life. My pride had been more important. The fact of what other people would thinking me, if I opened my mouth and told of my abuse consumed me.
Sin makes us foolish. Sin makes us blind. At first we think we are in control but in the end we are puppets of our own choosing. We turn over our wills to remain in sin. We become easy targets. We think we are having our own way only to find out we have been in quick sand standing while sinking deeper.
The Truth liberates us. The truth is simple. If we acknowledge our sin and repent, God will forgive us. He will restore us.
1 John 1:9 says, ” If we say, “We have no sin,” we are deceiving ourselves, and the truth is not in us.”
He will then Make us make us face our deepest fears.
God’s love is for all. It is for us to share. There is no partiality with God. He is a God for an equal opportunity for all who choose to believe and surrender to him, regardless of their past sins.
In 2 Corinthians 8:7- 15 we read,
“Now as you excel in everything — in faith, speech, knowledge, and in all diligence, and in your love for us — excel also in this act of grace. I am not saying this as a command. Rather, by means of the diligence of others, I am testing the genuineness of your love. For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ: Though he was rich, for your sake he became poor, so that by his poverty you might become rich. And in this matter I am giving advice because it is profitable for you, who began last year not only to do something but also to want to do it. Now also finish the task, so that just as there was an eager desire, there may also be a completion, according to what you have. For if the eagerness is there, the gift is acceptable according to what a person has, not according to what he does not have. It is not that there should be relief for others and hardship for you, but it is a question of equality. At the present time your surplus is available for their need, so that their abundance may in turn meet your need, in order that there may be equality. As it is written: The person who had much did not have too much, and the person who had little did not have too little.”
It is God’s desire that none should perish, this is why He sent his only Son Jesus. John 3:16
Mathew 10:8 … freely you received, freely give.
If we are forgiven of God, then our response must be to forgive. If we are blessed of God then our response must be to bkess others.
“Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Friends, do not avenge yourselves; instead, leave room for God’s wrath, because it is written, Vengeance belongs to me; I will repay, says the Lord. But If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in so doing you will be heaping fiery coals on his head. Do not be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.” Romans 12:17-21
Scripture further tells us that we should not continue in the state of anger, we should not even recall the offense.
Proverbs 17:9 in the amplified version states, “He who covers and forgives an offense seeks love, but he who repeats or harps on a matter separates even close friends.”
God make us go back and do what was hard and difficult. In so doing He heals our hearts.